Why Time, Space, and Being Heard Matter
When the Unexpected Happens
When faced with an unexpected pregnancy, a woman can be thrust into an emotional storm: fear, confusion, and pressure swirl around her before the reality has even had a chance to sink in. Thoughts spiral, emotions overwhelm, and outside voices, often urgent and pressing, begin to drown out her own thoughts.
But what if, instead of pressure and panic, she was given something else? What if she was given time, space, and a listening ear, someone who was only there for her, someone who could gently guide her back to her own thoughts and her own heart?
Kara was 20, in a relationship, and panicking when her period was late. Like many in her situation, she initially clung to the hope that it was just a delay. Kara had ordered a free pregnancy test from Life and had been having daily chats with a listener over text but she wasn’t ready to face the possibility of pregnancy, let alone take the test. Her boyfriend knew she was worried and had reassured her initially, promising they’d work through things together. But his reassurance was empty, just for show or to put off facing the prospect of the possible pregnancy.
Coercion Isn’t Always Loud
Kara’s experience is a powerful example of subtle coercion, where pressure doesn’t come in the form of threats, but in behavioural shifts, changes, and inconsistencies that confuse and destabilise. Her boyfriend initially told her they’d figure it out together, but when Kara took the test and it came back positive, his reaction flipped: swearing, blaming, and insisting she “get an abortion pronto.”
When he tried to control the situation by handing Kara a number for an abortion clinic, without space for discussion or empathy, it sent a strong message: her feelings, her confusion, her pregnancy, didn’t matter. Only his version of the future did.
Suddenly, it wasn’t “we will work it out,” it was “you need to get an abortion.”
The conversations continued. Her boyfriend’s words turned cruel and coercive. He swore, belittled, and tried to control the outcome. “No one will ever want you with a kid,” he spat. Kara had told no one, only the listener from Life’s helpline who’s support remained constant, helping her sift through the emotional manipulation and find her footing.
The Power of a Neutral, Skilled Listener
What Kara needed wasn’t someone to tell her what to do. It was someone to listen without judgement. Through calm, consistent, and respectful conversation, she was given the space to explore her feelings fully. The listener didn’t tell her what to think; they helped her hear herself. They brought her back, again and again, to her thoughts, her values, and her pace.
Isolation Fuels Fear – Connection Breaks It
When Kara’s boyfriend and his family began piling on pressure, she felt increasingly alone. “No one knows,” he said, using secrecy as a weapon. But deep down, Kara knew she couldn’t carry the burden alone.
She hadn’t told her mum, someone she deeply loved and trusted. “We are so close,” she said, “this secret is killing me.” With the help of the listener, she gently planned how to tell her mum. And when she finally did; over Friday night pizza, her mum cried, not out of shame or anger, but out of love and relief.
No longer isolated, Kara wasn’t hearing only the voice of fear and pressure anymore, she was finally able to hear the quiet truth that had been within her all along: she wanted to keep her baby. Her instincts were not wrong. Her heart was not weak. She just needed someone to help her pause, reflect, and truly listen.
Real Support
This is what real support looks like during an unexpected pregnancy: not pushing a woman toward any particular choice, but giving her the breathing room, the compassionate ear, and the safe space to truly listen to herself. It’s about reminding her she’s not alone, helping her reconnect with those who care, and ensuring that outside pressures and influences are put back into perspective so she can hear herself.
Six and a half months later, Kara sent a photo to the Helpline team. In her arms was her newborn son; the radiant result of Kara’s courage and unconditional love. This story, and so many others like it, is a testament to resilience, empowerment, and the life-changing power of truly being heard.
Help Life’s Helpline Reach More Women in Need
Kara was given the support to become the mother she wanted to be. How many more women could be creating their own personal stories of strength with the support of Life’s Helpline?
If you have anything to spare to help us reach and listen to more women like Kara, donate whatever you can here today, to help the women who call us tomorrow.
To protect our client’s privacy we have used a stock image, changed her name and any identifying features.
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