What Time Couldn't Bury
A Secret Never Shared
Jenna, 39, is a wife, mother of two, and a successful marketing executive. At 23, she had an abortion.
“It was the right thing to do at the time. I had to. What else could I do?”
With gentle encouragement from the listener, Jenna shared what led her to reach out to Life Helpline and the experience she had buried for over a decade.
At 23, Jenna found herself unexpectedly pregnant after a one-night stand. Her career was just taking off, she had recently bought her first flat, and she had no ongoing relationship with the baby’s father.
“I never told anyone. I just booked the abortion, and it was over.”
At the time, she remembers feeling relieved, nothing more. She moved on, seemingly unscathed by her abortion experience and for years life carried on: promotions, travel, marriage, children. Everything seemed fine.
Sort of.
A Difficult Date
Each year, around the anniversary of her abortion, Jenna would feel an unshakable sense of unease. She would become jittery, unsettled, distracted.
“I wake up on that day, and I just know it’s that day.”
To cope, she would over-schedule herself with work trips, throw herself into new projects, or drink more than usual to numb anything she might feel. She thought of it as a difficult anniversary she simply had to get through. Apart from that, she assumed she had moved on.
A Passing Comment, A Powerful Reminder
But then, during a casual chat at work, something shifted. A colleague was complaining about how hard it was to get her teenage son to study. A thought passed through Jenna’s mind unexpectedly.
“My baby would be 16 too.”
In the days that followed, Jenna’s emotions began to overwhelm her. Waves of sadness and loss crept in, catching her off guard. She found herself snapping at her family, sneaking away from the dinner table to cry, or hiding behind sunglasses in the park to mask her tears.
Sixteen Years of Silence
She had never spoken about her abortion. Not then, not since. For 16 years, she had carried the secret alone.
“I don’t know why I’m feeling like this, but I can’t shake it.”
As Jenna opened up, she described how memories and thoughts about the day kept coming back to her. Details she thought were forgotten were suddenly back. It became evident she was beginning to process what had happened.
She hadn’t just hidden her abortion from others; she had hidden it from herself.
After an emotional first call, Jenna felt she’d like another session. One session became two. Then six. Then eight; exploring the pain and grief she never gave herself permission to feel.
It’s OK to Grieve
Slowly, Jenna came to understand that she experienced a real loss and that it’s OK to grieve after an abortion. It can take time to build the courage to share about an abortion with a partner, and that’s OK, too. But most importantly, Jenna no longer had to carry the weight alone.
A Hard Thing To Say
Talking about grief, sadness, or emotional pain after an abortion is hard. The feeling of “it was the right decision at the time” doesn’t change the reality of the experience, which could include feelings of loss, confusion, or trauma. Women who speak out about these feelings are often met with dismissal or sometimes hostility as others may feel judged for their own abortion experience.
A Safe Place to Say it Out Loud
But we’re here to say:
You can speak freely to us.
If you’re hiding your pain, minimising your experience, or numbing feelings related to your abortion, we are here for you. If you’ve simply never told anyone before and you’d like to just put it in a text or say it out loud, we’re here for that, too.
Your voice, your story, and your emotions are valid.
We offer a safe, judgment-free space to speak openly, process your experience if you want to, and begin the journey towards finding inner calm.
Women’s experiences aren’t always easy. You don’t have to carry it alone.
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