Joe’s story

Joe first rang the Helpline seeking support around his girlfriend’s abortion.

He explained that he felt loss and every morning since the termination he lay in bed and cried. He said that he knew he did not have a right to feel such overwhelming grief because it had not “happened to him” but that is what he was feeling.

Joe went on to explain that he and his girlfriend had been in a happy and loving relationship for 2 years. When they found out about the pregnancy they were both happy, they could see a future mapped out together that included a baby, their baby… but when they began to tell the people around them, his girlfriend thoughts and attitudes around the pregnancy began to change. She said that she felt they were too young to start a family, even though they were both in their 20’s, something that she hadn’t said at the beginning of finding out. Every time they spoke she became more against the pregnancy.

Joe went onto explain that it was his birthday and they had booked a meal out. At the end of the evening she told him that she had booked an appointment at a local clinic, just to discuss options around the pregnancy and give them a better look at what was happening for them.

They went to clinic together a few days later. He said “ I felt I needed to support her, and didn’t want her to be on her own”…the termination was booked for the following week.

Joe went on to describe the day of returning to the clinic.

“I didn’t sleep the night before, I just felt physically sick. I know I had no right to, it was her choice. Of the morning, I couldn’t even bring myself to have a shower, what was the point. I drove her to the appointment. I tried to talk in the car but my voice kept breaking, I couldn’t put into words what I was feeling, I do think would it have made a difference? No, I don’t think it would have. She said she didn’t want to talk, just get it over and done with, get everything back to normal”.

The day Joe contacted the Helpline it was exactly a week after the abortion. He explained that he had only seen his girlfriend twice since it had happened, he couldn’t look at her and both times they had ended up arguing.

Joe was supported long term through is grieving process for the loss of his baby.

Are you struggling after an abortion? Or were you in a similar position to Joe? Call our free helpline today on 0808 802 5433.


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